Sasha von Varga, LCSW

DIVORCE COACH

A Divorce Coach is well versed in the process, content, and various dynamic elements of the divorce process. As a resource to clients, coaches educate clients about how to separate the difficult emotional elements of the divorce from the business at hand. Clients are negotiating life changing topics and have to be able to see the issues beyond their own dynamics and personal history. Coaches help clients move around the unresolved elements of the relationship to effectively resolve their divorce with a focus on their future needs and concerns as well as those of their ex- to be.

The Coach is a facilitator of the negotiation process and helps the clients develop and articulate their needs, goals, interests, and fears about the process. As the process unfolds, the coach helps the clients articulate their needs and attend to the future in their judgements. Coaches and attorneys help clients assess whether the scenarios being negotiated accurately reflect their stated goals so that the resulting agreements result in an enduring contract that will keep the clients out of court in the future.

Divorce coaching is ALSO very effective in high coflict litigated divorces because it helps clients manage the process effectively. Coaches provide support to the clients in understanding and navigating the various tasks and difficult conversations that have to occur in divorce.

Sasha von Varga works as a divorce coach to help clients navigate the divorce process with foresight and education about the process and helps them bring their needs and goals to the negotiation process.

CHILD SPECIALIST

The Child Specialist is a mental health practitioner with knowledge of the impact of the divorce process on children. The Child Speciaist meets with the parents to identify their goals and cocerns about the children. The Child Specialist then meets with the children to bring their voice to the process in an appropriate manner. The Child Specialist is a consultant to the parents as well, helping to create expectations that are developmentally appropriate and consistent with the particular needs of their children as they craft a parenting agreement.

Sasha uses a practical approach to helping parents discuss and establish a parenting agreement that attends to the needs of their children, and meets their own needs in structuring their parenting process. Sasha helps clients develop a process for expressing their concerns and working together to resolve matters that will arise in years hence; this reduces anxiety and stress about how parents will be able to communicate in the future. Parents make plans for those moments in anticipation that there will be bumps in the road. Attention is devoted to particular worries about the kids and how either parent will handle things- or when they will handle them together.

MEDIATOR

The mediator in a divorce is an objective third party whose role is to help two parties come to agreement on the elements of their divorce. Mediators help develop parenting agreements and financial agreements and do not have a vested interest in the outcomes. Mediators provide the alternative to litigation by creating a neutral space for clients to develop reasonable outcomes of their own choosing. Sometimes mediators are attorneys, sometimes mental health practitioners, and at times attorneys and mental health practitioners team up and work together to offer a more comprehensive outlook to the discussion. It is customary for clients using mediation to have an attorney review their agreements to help clarify the elements of law that pertain to their agreements so they are assured that they have made "informed" desicions.

Sasha works independently as a mediator and with several attorneys in the North Shore area as a mental health co-mediator. Sasha employs a model that integrates interest-based negotiation and expertise in parenting issues related to minimizing the impact of divorce on children. Sasha also works as a collaborative divorce coach and child specialist in the arena of Collaborative Divorce.

Please feel free to call or write to discuss your options. Sasha's schedule is by appointment.

In Divorce- Who does What ?

As a trained divorce professional specifically to help facilitate the process of interest-based negotiations, Sasha works with couples to establish workable agreements regarding;

• managing finances throughout the separation process

• establishing functional parenting agreements

• planning for the children's well-being

• property division

• post-decree mediation

Divorce mediation and Divorce Coaching are not psychotherapy or counseling. Using facilitation techniques that orient separating couples to seek a mutually crafted set of expectations about how to manage their lives as separate but partnering parents, each parent is empowered and challenged to work together in a non-adversarial context to develop creative solutions to family specific matters as they maintain control over the decisions that will impact their futures.

In the role of coach, I do not engage in therapy with parents or their children, though resources and guidelines for co-parenting through and after the divorce process are provided, and appropriate referrals are made for the family’s support.